Purpleland: Chapter 10

When we were out of sight of the house he grabbed my arm. I turned to him and yelled. “You knew I loved her. You knew I was coming back.” He tried to say something then but I cut him off. “You didn’t ever tell me. You said you were my friend and you lied to me again and again.” I then leapt on him and tried to punch him. He sidestepped and twisted the arm he already held behind me and pushed me to the ground.

 “Are you going to listen now?” His voice was very cool.  I did not say anything, seething with rage. “Alright, I have loved her… loved her, Kail, just as long as you have. And I know I never told you, but it tore me up to watch you two together. I did nothing then. Nothing. I was going to let you have her. You left and I was going to let you wait for her but she didn’t want to wait for you. Listen to me Kail. She doesn’t love you. And she never wants to be queen. When you left she didn’t say she would wait for you. She made no promises and neither did I. I was wrong not to tell you. I should have told you that she wasn’t waiting for you. I should have told you that I loved her. I should have told you that I was going to ask for her hand.” He paused. “I suppose that I hoped you would forget her. As for Alena she thought I would have told you.”  He let me up then and stood before me his hands open, palms facing me. “Now do to me what you want your majesty.”

The fury inside me had turned to a kind of cold fire. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him toward me. “You said you were my friend, you were the closest thing I had to a brother, I trusted you above anyone. And the second my back was turned you took the one thing in the world I wanted. I will hate you until I die. You are a snake and not welcome near me. Go now, find the girl and marry her, but from this day you have lost my friendship.”

He bowed and said. “I wish it could be otherwise.” Then turned and left me, covered in mud, panting and almost crying.

I rode after my servants and waylaid them on the way to Marcus’ castle. We took lodging in an inn nearby and made plans to leave on the morrow. I retired to my room. It was then that Alena came to me. She told me she was sorry. She told me that she loved me as a brother and hoped she would not lose me. She said no word in defense of what she had done but I read it in her eyes. She loved Marcus, not me. She did not want to be queen. She had thought Marcus had told me.

I told her that I would never cease to love her but as she was to be a bride I would not speak of it again. I told her while I could not forgive the man who would marry her she was free of all blame in my mind. She begged that I would forgive Marcus but I told her that her pleas were useless and that was the only thing I would not do at her request. We bid each other farewell and she went back, back to her parents, back to her lover, back to Marcus. I suppose I knew that by refusing to be reconciled with Marcus I was giving up any friendship I might have had with his future wife. At the time friendship seemed a meager thing to give up when compared to the ocean of my anger.

 Alena had only gone a few minutes when Shay came. That was a surprise, but she looked at me with compassion, not pity and told me how truly sorry she was. I saw tears in her eyes and asked, haltingly if she had loved Marcus. She looked surprised then nodded slowly and somehow her grey eyes had never looked less like her sister’s. We stood there in our mutual grief and eventually I broke the silence to congratulate her on her recent marriage. She smiled sadly.

“He’s ill you know. I’ll be a widow before the year is out most likely.”

I expressed my deepest condolences but she shook her head.

“He never loved me, was never even kind to me. I was pretty bedroom ornament and a part of an assembly line for his heir.”

I looked up quickly. “You are with child”

She smiled softly. “Yes, the child will come in the spring.”

I congratulated her and she smiled again. Then shyly took her leave and returned to her failing husband. But first she put her arms around me quickly, which was almost scandalous, and whispered, “They had no right to hurt you so.”