It
is hard for me to write what comes next. I will not pretend that the choices I
made in the thrall of that all-consuming grief where my worst sins, but had I
the power to rewrite one second of my past I would choose this one. I would
shed this frail body and reach into the past with phantom hands. I would take
that moment, uproot it and squeeze all life from root and branch. But it is not
given to man to change the paths he has taken, no matter how he may wish it.
The
night after the funeral Shay came to me. And instead of sympathetic words she
offered me love making and I took it. I suppose that somehow I was trying to
make love to Alena through her sister, but you cannot find the dead among the
living nor the living among the dead. She left me to my shame and grief twenty
minutes after I first heard her soft step at my doorway. There was no farewell.
I
returned to my old life as heir-apparent, broken, listless, and utterly
crushed. I let it get about that I was ill and did not leave my room for three
weeks. And when I emerged, no better, I found new troubles. Shay was pregnant
and she demanded that I marry her or she would invoke Ru-amor. I think you must
know this, but perhaps growing up in the south even Ru-amor was not known to
you. Our country has an ancient law: when an unmarried woman becomes pregnant
she can invoke Ru-amor. Once she does that the man she accuses has three
choices. First he can make her an offer of marriage; if she refuses he has
still acknowledged the child as his and is expected to send support for the
child. Second he can deny the charge and in that case he and the woman are
brought before a court of law for the matter to be determined by evidence. Lastly,
if the man does not wish to marry, members of both families can negotiate a
settlement for both the woman and the child.
The
invoking of Ru-armor is very public spectacle. When a commoner accuses a
nobleman no one thinks much of it, there might be a settlement, there might be
a trial, no one is much bothered. But when a noble woman makes an accusation
people take notice, and for me the stakes were higher. If I acknowledged Shay’s
child it would have a very real claim to the throne. I could not bring myself
to face my father and the court if Shay followed through with her threat, which
I was sure she would, and I felt that all love was over for me now that Alena was
dead. So I wrote to Shay and offered to marry her at once.
We
did. And one week later I introduced Shay to my father as my wife. He really
was fading then and said little about the matter. People talked, of course, but
generally they found the secret elopement thrilling and romantic.
No comments:
Post a Comment